Falling asleep after masturbating in a hotel room is the best feeling ever
Falling asleep after jacking off in a hotel room is maybe the best feeling ever... Most middle-aged men would look at that as the best vacation.
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View episodeThe Rams are a basketball team playing football
The Los Angeles Rams are like a basketball team playing football... They're soft. They're a basketball team playing football. We know all their names and they'll be... like it's fantasy football.
The Rams are officially overrated and no longer a top-three NFC team
I'm officially moving the Rams off of a team that I feel strongly about... I am officially taking the Rams out of my [top three]. Cardinals are better...
I'm a full-on believer in the Cowboys now
I'm a full-on believer in the Cowboys now. When they're clicking, they have every piece that you need to play with the top team. This is a hundred percent what you need Mike McCarthy to be doing... keeping him away from all the actual play design.
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View profileThe Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss
The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.
I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup
I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.
Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.
Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.