The Washington Nationals are a team of destiny

I think the Washington Nationals are a team of destiny. I really do. Tonight was a big game, 5-4. To steal one in Houston with Gerrit Cole on the mound... that's got to feel good. They're a team of destiny and the Astros are like America's villain.

If you are an assistant general manager, your name should never be making headlines for anything

I'm just gonna throw this out there. If you're an assistant general manager, your name should never be making headlines for anything—truth, good or bad. You don't do anything except scout and do your little fucking line graphs and work on spin rate. You should be on a spreadsheet in the back office in the worst lighting possible at all times.

Hallucinating and 'seeing ghosts' is a perfectly valid excuse for a quarterback's poor performance

I think it's actually good for Sam Darnold because the only explanation for being that bad is you were hallucinating. If the field was haunted, then that's a perfectly good reason to throw four interceptions in trouble.

The Rays are playing an exciting brand of baseball

It's a very, very exciting brand of baseball. And I'm gonna miss it when it's over. So I did not wanna sweep, so thank you.

The Cowboys are a bad football team

The Cowboys are a bad football team. And I can't wait for people to start to say like, this is when, look at the schedule. Dallas is gonna put some wins together.

Performance-enhancing drug shortages may explain dominant teams falling off

There started to be severe, severe supply chain issues when it came to performance enhancing drugs and peptide shipments coming to the United States. I just think it's interesting.