The Detroit Lions' season is already effectively over

The Lions season might be Signed Sealed Delivered halfway through October as they're all out of ammo.

The Philadelphia Eagles are done

The Eagles might be done... they stink... I thought the Eagles were going to win straight to me too. But their defense is atrocious.

The Falcons are the worst team in the NFL

Are the Falcons maybe the worst team in the NFL? See they still have that lingering sense of they were winning in the Super Bowl a couple years ago... but they are really, really bad. Their defense is one of the worst I've ever seen.

I will never learn my lesson and will continue to believe in the Houston Cougars for the next four years

If you think this is going to deter me from believing in the Houston Cougars for the next four years, you are sadly mistaken. I will never learn my lesson when it comes to this team.

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday because he has enough people sucking his dick

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday by the way. Fuck, fuck that guy. He's got enough people to suck his dick and wish him a happy birthday. Awful announcing quote that. I hope I do it again next year.

Nate Oats would not be a great fit at UNC

I don't think he'd be a great fit there. Would people be talking about Nate Oats as much for this job if he didn't wear those jackets? They feel like Carolina jackets. It feels like he's been accepting people into anticipating him being the next UNC coach for a while.