PMT DB
PMT DB
NFL Week 7 Recap: Big Cat's Suicidal Bears Energy and Fastest 2 Minutes
Big Cat is officially in the Joker phase of his sports fandom. After a weekend where both the Bears and the Badgers decided to stomp on his heart, the energy is high-octane misery. PFT is here to pick up the pieces, or at least point out how funny it is that the Falcons are objectively the worst product on television. The Fastest 2 Minutes sets the stage for a Sunday that saw the Lions get robbed by refs again and the Dolphins actually look like a professional football team for a full half before remembering the plan.
The NFC East Is a Dumpster Fire
Sunday Night Football was a bloodbath that left the Philadelphia secondary looking like they were trying to tackle ghosts. Big Cat and PFT didn't hold back on the Eagles' inability to stop anything resembling a forward pass. The Cowboys might be back, or they might just be the team that looks best when playing against a defense that makes business decisions on every play.
While the Eagles are stumbling, the Giants aren't much better. Pat Shurmur is officially on the hot seat after some baffling clock management and a general vibe of playing not to lose instead of playing to win. Big Cat is convinced that Shurmur used Eli Manning as a human shield for years to hide his own coaching deficiencies.
Big CatPat Shurmur is a terrible coach and should be fired
I think [Pat Shurmur] is a terrible, terrible head coach and I think he should be fired... Eli Manning was essentially like a body shield for Pat Shurmur... Daniel Jones seems to be pretty good, you have Saquon Barkley, you had [Evan] Engram back, Golden Tate and you stink.
Quarterback Apology Tours and MVP Runs
Kirk Cousins has officially escaped the Done Chain. After weeks of being the butt of every joke, he’s actually playing like a guy who deserves those guaranteed millions. It’s a confusing time for Vikings fans who were ready to drive him to the airport, but the numbers don't lie.
Big CatKirk Cousins is all the way back
Kirk Cousins is all the way back... I put the done chain on them after it... I would like to apologize to Vikings fans and to Kirk Cousins.
Over in Green Bay, Aaron Rodgers is doing things to defenses that should be illegal. PFT is ready to hand him the trophy right now after a five-touchdown performance against a Raiders team that thought they were actually good for a second. It turns out Rodgers plays better when his receivers are guys you’ve never heard of because he gets to soak up all the glory.
PFT CommenterAaron Rodgers is the NFL MVP
Aaron Rodgers... he's MVP. No, this is MVP Aaron that we're seeing right now five touchdowns pretty good.
The Bears Offensive Crisis
It’s getting dark in Chicago. The Bears offense managed to run the ball exactly seven times in a game where Mitchell Trubisky looked like he was seeing ghosts. Big Cat is reaching a point of clarity about the franchise that only comes from decades of pain. Matt Nagy’s play-calling is under the microscope, and the results are looking more like a middle school Madden session than an NFL scheme.
Big CatMatt Nagy is a horrific play caller
I think some of the blame has to be Matt Nagy because Matt Nagy is a horrific play caller. As far as I've seen this year, he ran the ball seven times... you can't know if the running game worked when you run it seven times.
Big CatThe Chicago Bears are destined to never have a franchise quarterback
The Bears are destined to never have a franchise quarterback. It will never ever happen. It will never happen. The fact that we had DeShaun Watson and Patrick Mahomes in that draft class, it will never happen. It is destined. It is preordained.
Ravens, Titans, and Hand Sizes
The guys also took a lap on the Ravens' impressive road win in Seattle. Big Cat is officially eating crow on his "Ravens are frauds" take, admitting that Lamar Jackson is essentially a cheat code in real life. Meanwhile, the Titans have found a way to be the most forgettable good team in the league, led by Ryan Tannehill and Mike Vrabel’s mustache.
PFT CommenterThe Tennessee Titans will make the Wild Card round
The Titans are back kind of... they're going to be one of these teams that goes on a run and pisses me off. Their butt cheeks are going to play in the Wild Card round.
Before heading into Who’s Back and Football Guy of the Week, Big Cat proposed a new scouting metric that simplifies the entire NFL Draft process. Forget the 40-yard dash or the Wonderlic; it’s all about the mitts.
Big CatQuarterback draft analysis should be based 100% on hand size
I might just do my draft analysis 100% based on [hand size]. I don't see a problem with that. Like I don't care about any of your stats. I don't care how far you can throw just give me your hand size if it's over nine and three-quarters. I'm drafting you.
To wrap up, the guys discussed the upcoming World Series matchup and PFT’s deep-seated fear of the wind. PFT is convinced wind is just God farting on us, while Big Cat is just trying to find peace with a Wisconsin team that loses as 31-point favorites.
It’s a long season, but at least the weather is getting crisp enough to hide the tears.
