I still do not respect the Coronavirus

I still don't respect the virus. It's like a Ravens Steelers thing, like no love lost. I hate it so much. I want to beat the fuck out of it. It doesn't sound serious and I'm encouraging everybody to do everything that they can... but I still don't respect the virus.

Rudy Gobert's microphone-touching prank was just a harmless joke that I would have done myself three days ago.

I'm going to defend [Rudy Gobert] a little bit here. That's exactly something I would have done. That's exactly something I would have done three days ago. Now that I've understood the severity and what's going on, I would not do that anymore. But Rudy Gobert, I'm not going to just pile on this guy for doing something he thought was completely innocent; clearly it was not.

Duke canceled their season before the NCAA to upstage everyone like drama queens.

Duke, the biggest fucking prima donnas drama queens of all time, canceled their own season before the NCAA could trying to upstage everyone and be like, 'Look at me, look at us, we're Duke.' Then the tournament gets cancelled and then everyone gets to make the joke that Duke got eliminated first.

I will never learn my lesson and will continue to believe in the Houston Cougars for the next four years

If you think this is going to deter me from believing in the Houston Cougars for the next four years, you are sadly mistaken. I will never learn my lesson when it comes to this team.

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday because he has enough people sucking his dick

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday by the way. Fuck, fuck that guy. He's got enough people to suck his dick and wish him a happy birthday. Awful announcing quote that. I hope I do it again next year.

Nate Oats would not be a great fit at UNC

I don't think he'd be a great fit there. Would people be talking about Nate Oats as much for this job if he didn't wear those jackets? They feel like Carolina jackets. It feels like he's been accepting people into anticipating him being the next UNC coach for a while.