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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I will cut off a testicle if the Miami Hurricanes lose to Miami of Ohio

My hundred percent lock. I I will, I will cut off a testicle if Miami doesn't win that game.

Miami (FL) won 38-3, so his testicles were safe.

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Void
Aug 28, 2023
#2462
Big CatBig Cat

Jason Garrett is a total buzzkill on the broadcast

There's no better way to kill your football buzz than having Jason Garrett call the game... I know it was week zero. I know there's only like seven games. They all, they all mean something to me. And then Jason Garrett was on there and I immediately fell in a nap in the second quarter.

Subjective opinion on broadcast quality.
Win
Aug 28, 2023
#2463
Big CatBig Cat

The Pac-12 is dying because people can't watch stars like Caleb Williams play on their network

The returning Heisman Caleb Williams, who would probably be the number one pick in the draft and no one in America could watch it 'cause it was Pac-12 network... that could not have been the better way to tip off the last Pac-12 season opener to be like, hey, this is why we're dying. Because we can't watch fucking Caleb Williams play football.

The Pac-12 effectively collapsed shortly after this, largely due to media rights issues and lack of visibility.
Void
Aug 28, 2023
#28737
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The 2023 Commanders vs. Ravens matchup was the most important preseason game of all time

It is good to have games that mean something besides obviously the Commander's Ravens game, which was the most important preseason game of all time.

This is a subjective, satirical claim about a preseason game's importance.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Rams' Australia travel plan was an all-time 'fuck it' move

It was a terrible idea that Sean McVay tried to do, but I have to respect how much of an all-time fuck-it move it was to just pretend that time zones don't exist. He was just like, you know what, fuck it, we're not gonna adapt. We're gonna fly in, fly out.

The Rams lost the Australia opener after using the fly-in/fly-out approach, supporting the criticism in this game-specific judgment.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

KOC will get the best out of Kyler Murray

I think that what he's gonna get the absolute best outta Kyler Murray that he possibly can at this point, which I think should be good enough to be a pretty good team this year.

Kyler Murray's 2026 season and Minnesota's performance will determine whether this forecast holds.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Jayden Daniels is going to remind everyone that the bad man is back

I think Jayden Daniels, he's as healthy as he has been since the start of last season. ... I think that he's gonna remind a lot of people who he is. Yeah. That's what I think. I think the bad man might be back.

Daniels' 2026 season will determine whether he re-established himself as an elite or feared quarterback.