PMT DB
PMT DB
Howie Long on the Raiders, 30 Years at FOX, and Trey Lance Trade
Summer is officially on its deathbed because real, meaningful football was finally on our television screens this weekend. Even though it was only Week Zero, Big Cat and PFT were locked in for every snap, even if the broadcast left a little to be desired. Watching Notre Dame dismantle Navy in Dublin was a great appetizer, but the production value took a hit for Big Cat once the commentary started.
Big CatJason Garrett is a total buzzkill on the broadcast
There's no better way to kill your football buzz than having Jason Garrett call the game... I know it was week zero. I know there's only like seven games. They all, they all mean something to me. And then Jason Garrett was on there and I immediately fell in a nap in the second quarter.
The biggest tragedy of the weekend, however, was the Pac-12 Network showing its true colors during the USC game. While Caleb Williams was busy out there looking like the future number one overall pick, half of the country was stuck watching a grainy cell phone stream from a guy on the dark web just to see the Heisman winner play.
Big CatThe Pac-12 is dying because people can't watch stars like Caleb Williams play on their network
The returning Heisman Caleb Williams, who would probably be the number one pick in the draft and no one in America could watch it 'cause it was Pac-12 network... that could not have been the better way to tip off the last Pac-12 season opener to be like, hey, this is why we're dying. Because we can't watch fucking Caleb Williams play football.
The Trey Lance Era (Is Over)
The biggest NFL news of the weekend was the San Francisco 49ers finally pulling the ripcord on the Trey Lance experience, shipping him off to Dallas for a fourth-round pick. Big Cat pointed out that while John Lynch is an incredible GM, this goes down as one of the most lopsided misses in the history of the draft considering what they gave up to get him.
Big CatThe 49ers trade for Trey Lance is one of the worst busts in NFL history
Find another team that trades three first round picks and misses that badly on a quarterback and still is potentially a Super Bowl team... but that has to be one of the worst bust slash trades in, in NFL history.
Now Lance heads to Big D, which creates a ticking time bomb for Dak Prescott. PFT is already looking forward to the inevitable camera cut to Lance on the sidelines the second Dak makes a mistake in Week 1.
PFT CommenterFans will clamor for Trey Lance the moment Dak Prescott throws his first interception
I am, I'm very much looking forward to though the first terrible interception. Yes. Dak Prescott throws. Yes. I will be clamoring, I'll be standing on the table for Trey Lance, which will [happen] exactly two weeks from right now.
Howie Long Joins the Program
The guys were finally joined by the patriarch of the Long family, Hall of Famer and FOX analyst Howie Long. Howie shared some incredible stories about his path from Charlestown to Villanova and eventually to the Raiders. He painted a picture of the old Raiders locker room that sounds like a movie set, filled with guys like Lyle Alzado and Matt Millen who were as terrifying as they were talented. Howie even cleared up the legendary story about Matt Millen allegedly hitting the Patriots GM with his helmet after a playoff game.
Looking ahead to the current season, Howie offered some perspective on the Broncos' transition under Sean Payton. He thinks the pairing with Russell Wilson is exactly what that offense needs to stop the bleeding from last year.
Howie LongSean Payton will fix Russell Wilson by stripping away the extras and getting back to basics
I think Russell is a guy that I think needed Sean Payton to come in... Sean is the guy that will come in and he is not afraid to tell you, you know, the office thing. That's not No, we're not doing that... We're gonna get back to the basics. We're gonna get back to run the football, we're gonna make the offensive line better. We're, we're gonna get back to doing the things and, and tailor the offense to a version of what Sean's run.
Before letting him go, the guys had to settle the ultimate family debate. Howie has three sons who are all high-level athletes, but he didn't hesitate when asked who the alpha is in a hypothetical wrestling match.
Howie LongKyle Long would win a wrestling match against Chris and Howie in their primes
Kyle is frightening. When he puts hands on you, it's a different kind. It's like, some people are, I'm heavy handed, he's heavy handed on a bigger... I would take Kyle [in a wrestling match].
Who's Back and Mount Rushmore
Who's Back of the Week featured some heavy hitters. PFT celebrated Donald Trump's reported club championship 67 at Bedminster, while Big Cat took aim at Herm Edwards for the current state of the Arizona State program.
Big CatHerm Edwards is a total fraud for the mess he left at Arizona State
My who's back is Herm Edwards being a fraud because Arizona State has a bull ban... He's on ESPN giving speeches about, you know, upstanding character and doing the right thing. And he just left this mess in his past. So he is a total fraud.
To wrap up the show, we hit the final stretch of Mount Rushmore season with the Mount Rushmore of Fictional Animals. The stakes couldn't be higher as the standings are separated by just a few points, and the losers are looking at a 24-hour stream of misery.
Big CatThe losers of the 2023 Mount Rushmore competition will have to do a 24-hour stream with their partner
This is it. This is a finale of Mount Rushmore season... someone will be in a 24 hour stream with their partner for all of us to watch narrate.
There was plenty of debate over what constitutes "fictional," with Air Bud becoming the center of a heated legal argument between Jake and the rest of the room. Hank and Max leaned into the classics like Bugs Bunny and Snoopy, while Big Cat and PFT went for high-value picks like Brian Griffin and Michelangelo.
Enjoy the last week of non-NFL Sundays while you still can.
