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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I will get a sex change if Jimmy Butler wins NBA MVP

I'll put this out. I will go ahead and I'll have a sex change if Jimmy Butler becomes the MVP. I will become Marlon's woman. Done.

Russell Westbrook won MVP in 2017. Jimmy Butler has never won an MVP award.

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Push
Nov 2, 2016
#13849
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Aroldis Chapman's ankle will be swollen and he will feel the injury in Game 7

Tomorrow it's going to swell. [Chapman] is going to feel it. He's probably, I don't know, maybe he's got some recovery water... but tomorrow it's going to swell. He's going to feel it.

Chapman pitched 1.1 innings in Game 7, allowing 2 runs (including the Rajai Davis homer), though his physical status regarding 'swelling' was not the primary storyline compared to his fatigue.
Void
Nov 2, 2016
#22426
Big CatBig Cat

Aroldis Chapman being brought in for the 9th inning of a 7-run game was weird managing

The ninth was a little weird when it ended up being a seven-run game. But we shall see.

Subjective opinion on baseball strategy, though widely shared by analysts at the time.
Win
Nov 2, 2016
#13851
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The 2016 World Series is engineered for the Cubs to win in seven games

I think that this has all been engineered behind the scenes, and you're going to be the one that reaps all the rewards. So congratulations in advance on tonight's World Series champion, your 2016 Chicago Cubs.

The Cubs did win Game 7 and the World Series.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.