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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

If the United States doesn't make it out of the World Cup group stage, soccer should be made illegal

I think that if the United States does not make it out of their group, meaning they finished in third or, or more likely fourth... We should just eliminate soccer in the United States. Yeah. We should stop playing soccer. Yeah. Make it against the law.

This is a comedic/satirical suggestion that will not literally happen, though the prerequisite (USA not advancing) is possible.

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Jun 12, 2026
#30718
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

A $5,000 ticket to Game 4 of the Knicks-Spurs Finals was actually a bargain

The $5,000 get in price was actually a bargain if you went to that game and you're a Knicks fan because what you got was probably the best night of, of your life... sports will not get any better than that, than if you paid five grand to go to Madison Square Garden last night.

The Knicks had a historic comeback in Game 4 of the 2026 Finals. Value is subjective but the event was undeniably historic.
Void
Jun 12, 2026
#30719
Big CatBig Cat

No lead is too big against the Knicks

There's no lead that's too big... against The Knicks. It's not like a fluke. It's, this is what this Knicks team is. They are a team that, that, that will step up in big moments and not give in.

Subjective assessment of team identity, though backed by their performance in the 2026 playoffs.
Void
Jun 12, 2026
#30731
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The San Antonio Spurs are the stupidest good team in the NBA

The Spurs are the stupidest team. They're the stupidest good team that I've ever seen. And they're consistently stupid in big moments.

Subjective evaluation of a team's game management.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Sixers will reach out about trading for Anthony Davis

I do think that the Sixers will probably reach out and at least make a phone call about Anthony Davis.

Will be proven correct if reports emerge that the Sixers inquired about AD.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

A DUI in Wisconsin is essentially 'Fisher-Price: My First DUI'

So the OWI in Wisconsin is like Fisher-Price. My first DUI. You're just like, hey, you gotta, you gotta give us like 300 bucks and don't do it again. It's pretty much a boys will be boys.

In Wisconsin, a first-offense OWI is generally a civil violation, not a criminal offense, making the comparison to a 'starter' penalty accurate in spirit.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The online discourse surrounding Caitlin Clark has completely destroyed people's brains

She's destroyed more brains in this country than cocaine. It's impossible to have any rational take online about Caitlin Clark anymore.