Lonzo Ball is going to the Los Angeles Lakers

Lonzo Ball is going to the Los Angeles Lakers.

The San Antonio Spurs are dead

And the San Antonio Spurs are dead. Dead. D-E-D. A-D. Dead. Manslaughtered, as Greg Popovich would say.

The Celtics have to draft Markelle Fultz with the number one pick

You gotta go with Fultz, you know, we, Celtics need another guard.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.