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Loss
HankHank

The Celtics have to draft Markelle Fultz with the number one pick

You gotta go with Fultz, you know, we, Celtics need another guard.

The Celtics traded the #1 pick to the 76ers, who drafted Fultz. The Celtics drafted Jayson Tatum at #3.

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Win
May 17, 2017
#13675
Big CatBig Cat

Lonzo Ball is going to the Los Angeles Lakers

Lonzo Ball is going to the Los Angeles Lakers.

The Lakers selected Lonzo Ball with the second overall pick in the 2017 NBA Draft.
Win
May 17, 2017
#13676
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The San Antonio Spurs are dead

And the San Antonio Spurs are dead. Dead. D-E-D. A-D. Dead. Manslaughtered, as Greg Popovich would say.

The Spurs were swept 4-0 by the Warriors in the 2017 Western Conference Finals and arguably entered a long period of decline.
Win
May 17, 2017
#13678
HankHank

The Celtics are obviously going to lose the series to the Cavaliers

We're obviously going to lose the series. That's a fact. I mean, Isaiah [Thomas], he got worked by the Washington guards. He's going to get worked by Kyrie [Irving].

The Cavaliers defeated the Celtics 4-1 in the 2017 Eastern Conference Finals.

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Void
HankHank

Tom Brady helping Mike Macdonald prepare for the Patriots would be a huge slap in the face to the New England region.

That would be egregious if that was true. I don't believe it is true. But if it were, that would be unforgivable. Not unforgivable. That would be a, a blemish, a big blemish. Big time. It'd be a slap in the face of the whole region.

Subjective opinion on how a hypothetical rumor would be perceived.
Void
HankHank

Jayson Tatum is playing cute by claiming he found out about the Jaylen Brown trade on social media.

I'm sure he knew that he was on the trading block and he didn't know specifically when he got traded and he found out just like everyone else... all Brad Stevens, Jaylen Brown, they talked about how, you know, he was gonna be on the trading block and they were gonna try and move him. So I'm sure Jayson Tatum was also aware of that. But in terms of, he's probably playing a little, a little cutesy there where like no one specifically told him, 'Hey, this is the trade.' He found out like everyone else. But I'm sure he was not surprised and fully aware what the plan was.

Subjective interpretation of Tatum's PR framing.
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HankHank

The Celtics have another major move coming following the Jaylen Brown trade

There's something going on here. I I said it to Max on the boat yesterday. I was like, Jalen Brown was getting traded. I could, I could just feel it. I could feel it coming... I feel like the Paul George thing is, there's the, like, they might be doing another trade. There's another move coming.

The trade just happened in the fictional 2026 timeline provided; further moves are pending.