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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

James Harden doesn't actually want to win in the playoffs because he wants to party

I actually think that there might be something to the fact that James Harden doesn't want to win in the playoffs because he gets paid regardless and he just wants to go party in the off season. Like legitimately James Harden might not want to win playoff series.

Subjective take on a player's motivation.

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Void
May 15, 2023
#9008
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Jayson Tatum officially has a 'dog' in him after Game 7

I think the real winner in this series should be us for saying that Jayson Tatum is the best player on the court and he needs to get a dog. We were dog used dog salesman adoption counselors and we set up a tent outside Jayson Tatum's house. And he adopted a dog from us. He's got a dog now.

Subjective sports analysis about a player's mentality.
Void
May 15, 2023
#9010
Big CatBig Cat

Jayson Tatum is a top five player in the NBA

I think Jayson Tatum is a phenomenal, phenomenal basketball player, top five player. There are times when he floats and isn't aggressive and it drives me insane. Cause this is the type of guy that should go and take a series and that's exactly what he did.

General ranking of NBA players is subjective.
Win
May 15, 2023
#9011
Big CatBig Cat

Doc Rivers holds the NBA record for the most losses by a coach in games with a chance to clinch a series

Doc Rivers is now 17 and 33 straight up with a chance to clinch a series. That means 33 losses is the most of any coach in NBA history with a chance to clinch a series. 34% when his team has a chance to clinch.

This was widely reported as a fact following the Sixers' loss to the Celtics in 2023.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.