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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Jeff Fisher is the perfect Vice Presidential candidate because he is consistently mediocre

I think I'm going to have to go with your boy, Jeff Fisher, just because, like, he proves that he is a guy that will stick around. In fact, at the very, very least, if you take Fisher, you're getting an average candidate, right? He's consistent. He's not going to commit any huge gaffes, but he's also not going to win over any votes. So he's basically going to keep your approval numbers exactly what they are. Jeff Fisher's only hole is the glaring hole that he's entirely mediocre.

This is a satirical take on Fisher's coaching record applied to politics.

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Loss
Apr 20, 2016
#22538
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

JJ Watt will get a DUI within six months if he keeps up his current public persona

He either comes on Pardon My Take and doesn't interview anybody and is actually real for a little bit... or two, he keeps up the facade, and then six months later, he gets a DUI, and then it's all just completely busted. ... If you keep this up, and then you get a DUI, guess what? You're screwed.

JJ Watt did not get a DUI in the six months following this episode.
Void
Apr 20, 2016
#12288
Big CatBig Cat

Any future heroic act by JJ Watt will be a staged PR stunt

I wouldn't rule out J.J. Watt staging, saving some child from a burning building or something. If you hear a story in the next month that J.J. Watt ran into a burning warehouse and there were children and kittens and puppies and he saved them all, just be on the lookout for that. ... I want to be a pre-truther to anything heroic that J.J. Watt does in the next six months.

The take is a cynical interpretation of character; whether an act is 'staged' is subjective.
Void
Apr 20, 2016
#12289
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Jon Jones' claim of marijuana addiction is a PR move because it's not a real addiction

Jon Bones Jones today came out and said like, yeah, I used to smoke a lot of weed and now I don't anymore. And so now I'm back on the straight and narrow. ... That's just not really an addiction. They're not going to be mad at you. Like that's just... just not really an addiction.

The medical and societal definition of addiction is subjective and variable.

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Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

JMU may not win again until the dog-poop bettor returns

JMU probably won't win another football game until that guy logs back on.

The prediction resolves when JMU's 2026 football season ends or the team wins another game, whichever comes first.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Wizards are a one-through-eight seed team

I feel confident in my one through eight seed. Love that for the Wiz.

The Wizards' 2026-27 regular-season finish will determine whether this playoff-seeding prediction was accurate.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Falcons can expose the 49ers defense

They might not actually be as good as we think they are on defense. I don't hate the Falcons at all in this game.

The 49ers' 2026 defensive quality and this Week 7 result can be evaluated against the skepticism expressed here.