Luka Doncic is the best player of all time

Is Luka Doncic the best player of all time? Yes. I think so. I think he's going to be—he's really good. Of all time. He's crazy. 42 point triple double.

Antonio Brown will return to the Patriots following his apology to Robert Kraft

Did you see that every single Patriot basically liked it? And he used a semicolon, which means there's a chance that someone wrote it for him, which means that it was like, hey, post this apology. And maybe you'll come back... do you guys think it's a coincidence that after the Patriots' offensive performance on Sunday that this all of a sudden comes very early the next week?

Philip Rivers' career is over

Philip Rivers is done. D-O-N-E, done. D-E-A-D, dead. It's over. I said to myself, this is sad. And I think it might be over. Because there's something about it that feels different. The arm is just not there. And it just can't. It will never come back.

I will never learn my lesson and will continue to believe in the Houston Cougars for the next four years

If you think this is going to deter me from believing in the Houston Cougars for the next four years, you are sadly mistaken. I will never learn my lesson when it comes to this team.

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday because he has enough people sucking his dick

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday by the way. Fuck, fuck that guy. He's got enough people to suck his dick and wish him a happy birthday. Awful announcing quote that. I hope I do it again next year.

Nate Oats would not be a great fit at UNC

I don't think he'd be a great fit there. Would people be talking about Nate Oats as much for this job if he didn't wear those jackets? They feel like Carolina jackets. It feels like he's been accepting people into anticipating him being the next UNC coach for a while.