Hard Knocks stinks

Hard Knocks stinks. There's nothing that can turn around a bad episode of Hard Knocks like watching it with a cool dog... The ending was, I had to like check myself because they had the dramatic rainstorm and Liev Schreiber was doing some unbelievable speech, and then I was like, wait, they lost in a preseason game to the Cardinals by three points. What are we doing here?

Dak Prescott is probably going to miss the whole year with his shoulder injury

They can't show it [on Hard Knocks] because they don't want to tell us that [Dak Prescott's] shoulder's fucked up and he's probably going to miss the whole year.

Jerry Jones is the only person I've seen put on weight after the age of 75

Jerry is the only guy I think I've ever seen that's put on weight after the age of 75. Most people just start to wither away. He's just ballooning up.

Augusta National likely set up Mark Calcavecchia to get caught with a cell phone to prove they still have authority

My theory is that they talked to... a behind the scenes situation where they said, we getting a lot of shit. People are saying that we still don't have it, so we're gonna throw your ass out if you're okay with just saying that he had a cell phone. So I think it might be a setup.

I can shoot a 110 at Augusta National

I actually don't think that what I said was that stupid. You said you could shoot 110. I think I could shoot 109. I could break 110. I'm not saying I would do it every time. I don't think so. I think I could do it.

Everyone should be able to break 150 at Augusta National

It was more so the people that were like, dude, you can break 150. I think everybody, everyone here should be able to break 150 at Augusta.