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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Josh Harris will officially be the new owner of the Commanders

It was announced today. It's Josh Harris. He's gonna take over the team... He's already an owner, kind of, of an NFL team. He's a part owner of the Steelers. They're gonna vote him in. It's, this is a done deal and it's gonna happen and everything's gonna be good.

Josh Harris officially completed the purchase of the Washington Commanders in July 2023.

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Loss
Apr 14, 2023
#28485
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NFL has awoken a 'sleeping giant' in Washington D.C. with the sale of the Commanders

All I'm saying is be careful what you wish for NFL, because you have awoken a sleeping giant in Washington DC.

While the franchise is in a better spot with new ownership, the Commanders have yet to become a dominant 'giant' in the NFL since the sale.
Win
Apr 14, 2023
#1749
Big CatBig Cat

Diar DeRozan single-handedly won the play-in game for the Bulls against the Raptors

Diar DeRozan stole the story of the play-in game on Wednesday night. She single-handedly stopped the Toronto Raptors... She was screaming so loud before every free throw that the Raptors took in a dead silent arena. The Raptors went 18 for 36 from the free throw line. Ended up losing the game by what four? It was she won that game for the Bulls.

The Raptors' poor free throw performance was historically bad for an elimination game, and her screaming was a direct, audible factor throughout the broadcast.
Void
Apr 14, 2023
#1751
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Diar DeRozan is the #1 overall NBA daughter

She's great. She's way better than Riley Curry. Yes. Before ranking NBA daughters, I got her one A in my daughter draft. I think that she was, she was great.

Inherently subjective ranking of athletes' children.

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Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.