The Green Bay Packers are officially dead

The Greeny Packers. Aaron Rodgers looks like he's playing poorly on purpose. That's how bad he's playing tonight... I'm officially saying get out the [shovel]... Their next game is against the Eagles, they're dead. That's a dead team.

Mike Vrabel is the NFL Coach of the Year

[Mike Vrabel] is coach of the year. It's something about he just gets 'em ready for a fight and he just makes games miserable for the other team. And they fist fight him for 60 minutes and most of the time they come out with a win.

The NFC North is officially Kirk Cousins's division now

This is Kirk Cousins's division now. They [the Vikings] are [winning it]... Siara... see you bitches. And Packers fans know it. They know they're dead. They know there's no chance.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.