You can tell a guy is a terrible negotiator if he is 'thirsty' and keeps calling when people won't call back

First of all, on top of everything else, obviously [Jared Porter] is a scumbag and he got fired... he's also a terrible negotiator. What do they teach you in negotiating school? Do they teach you to just look really thirsty and keep calling people when they won't call you back?

Adults need a one-month seminar on how to be normal human beings to avoid 62-text-message-type behavior

We need like a one month seminar where people can just learn to be normal human beings, because... throw out just the dick pic, which is way out of bounds... but 62 text messages over, like, a couple months with no reply... dude, you need to learn just a tiny bit of shame.

Patrick Mahomes will pass the concussion protocol and play in the AFC Championship

I'm ready to say that I think that he [Mahomes] will pass the concussion protocol test at the end of the week.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.