The day Dan Snyder sells the Commanders is the best day of my sports life

It is one of the best days of my life. I would say Washington Capital Stanley Cup is day number one of my sports life Nationals, nationals World Series, probably number two. And then I would put Dan Snyder selling the team. ... Fuck it. I'm, I'm gonna put this number one. Okay. I think this is better. Number one, I think this is a better day because it opens up the entire future of my football fandom.

The Washington Commanders should temporarily revert to 'Washington Football Team' before rebranding as the 'Hogs'

I hope that Josh Harris... they buy the team. And I hope they're like, you know what? This name sucks. The commander sucks. Nobody cares about it. Hogs. And then I hope they say, okay, we need a year to figure out what the end name of the team's gonna be. So we're gonna go back to the football team for a year. And then the year after that, they announced the new team name. Hogs would be great.

If a sports owner has two teams, they will always have a favorite child

No. Because like, this will get into a situation where if you own two teams, like which one does [the owner] care about more? ... it's kinda like a Jerry Reinsdorf situation with the White Sox and Bulls. Like we, you gotta have a favorite child.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.