PMT DB
PMT DB
Stavros Halkias on Lamar Jackson, Dan Snyder Selling, and NBA Tiers
The vibes in the studio were immaculate today as Big Cat and PFT suited up in full tuxedos to celebrate the news that the bad man is finally gone. After twenty-five years of holding a community hostage, Dan Snyder is officially selling the Washington Commanders. PFT wasn't just happy; he was ready to put this moment at the very top of his personal trophy case, even above the Capitals' Stanley Cup.
PFT CommenterThe day Dan Snyder sells the Commanders is the best day of my sports life
It is one of the best days of my life. I would say Washington Capital Stanley Cup is day number one of my sports life Nationals, nationals World Series, probably number two. And then I would put Dan Snyder selling the team. ... Fuck it. I'm, I'm gonna put this number one. Okay. I think this is better. Number one, I think this is a better day because it opens up the entire future of my football fandom.
While the celebration was on, the conversation quickly turned to what comes next for the franchise. PFT is already looking past the "Commanders" era, hoping for a temporary return to the basics before landing on a name that actually reflects the history of the team.
PFT CommenterThe Washington Commanders should temporarily revert to 'Washington Football Team' before rebranding as the 'Hogs'
I hope that Josh Harris... they buy the team. And I hope they're like, you know what? This name sucks. The commander sucks. Nobody cares about it. Hogs. And then I hope they say, okay, we need a year to figure out what the end name of the team's gonna be. So we're gonna go back to the football team for a year. And then the year after that, they announced the new team name. Hogs would be great.
The NFL Coach Photo and Lamar's Trade Request
The annual NFL head coaches' photo dropped, providing the usual fuel for Big Cat’s seasonal roast of middle-aged men standing in the sun. From Sean Payton "laying dong" to Mike McCarthy looking like he’s composed entirely of flatulence, nobody was safe. Big Cat specifically pointed out that Brandon Staley’s vibe is shifting into some uncomfortable territory.
Big CatBrandon Staley looks like a creepy youth church leader
Brandon Staley looks like a, I think I said he looked like a youth church leader who kind of creepy shout because he's gotta a look that like, dude, just figure out Justin Herbert.
Big CatMike McCarthy's body is composed of 90% fart
I said that he [Mike McCarthy] he's 90% fart in that picture. Yeah. His body's just composed the fart. ... if you took, if you did the 23 and me test, it'd be like 10% Irish, 90% fart.
Beyond the fashion choices, the real news was Lamar Jackson revealing he requested a trade back on March 2nd. PFT is convinced that the Ravens' handling of the situation is leading toward a disastrous standoff where their franchise player simply doesn't take the field.
PFT CommenterLamar Jackson will not play on the transition tag
[Lamar Jackson] is not going to play on the transition tag. So we could end up being a situation where Lamar comes back to the Ravens and just doesn't play at all next year. Which would suck for everybody.
Stavros Halkias on Ravens' Dysfunction
Friend of the program Stavros Halkias joined the show for what can only be described as a therapy session for Ravens fans. Stav was apoplectic, comparing the Ravens' treatment of Lamar to a fat guy with a hot girlfriend who doesn't realize he’s about to lose her. He laid the blame squarely on Steve Bisciotti and Eric DeCosta for nickel-and-diming a generational talent who literally carried the franchise.
Stavros HalkiasThe Ravens management has completely disrespected and mishandled Lamar Jackson
Steve Bisciotti and Eric DeCosta have fucked the city of Baltimore in its ass. That's where I would like to start. The fucking treatment of Lamar Jackson is inexcusable. How the fuck are we gonna lose Lamar over Nothing. ... It's like a fucking fat guy with a little ass dick who's got a hot girlfriend. We lucked into Lamar... and then we just fucking have taken him for granted.
Stavros didn't hold back on the league-wide narrative regarding guaranteed contracts either. He argued that if a mid-tier NBA star can get a bag, an NFL MVP should be treated with the same respect, especially given the physical toll of the sport.
Stavros HalkiasLamar Jackson deserves the same fully guaranteed contract as Bradley Beal
The most valuable position, in the most valuable fucking league. And they're like, oh, because of an accounting issue, we can't pay these guys guaranteed money. ... A fucking MVP quarterback should be able to get the same contract as fucking Bradley Beal. He literally wants Bradley Beal's contract. Five for two 50. That's, are you kidding me? What the fuck are we talking about?
As a Ravens fan, Stav’s ultimate nightmare involves the greatest coach of all time swooping in to fix what Baltimore broke. He’s convinced that if Lamar lands in New England, the rest of the league is in serious trouble.
Stavros HalkiasIf Bill Belichick gets Lamar Jackson, the Patriots will win a Super Bowl
If he goes to the fucking Patriots, they will win his Super Bowl. They win. ... You take a guy who's been completely underutilized... and you put him with the Patriots, who now fucking Bill Belichick has something to prove. ... Belichick has that horse cock. That's why the Broncos wanted it.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne and Guys on Chicks
In Hot Seat/Cool Throne, Hank took aim at the 76ers for their recent slide, while PFT made a bold claim that we need to return to the glory days of headwear on the golf course.
PFT CommenterProfessional golf needs to bring back visors
Visors are a good look. I think we need to bring back visors. ... Gulf Digest had a study and they say for the first time in like 40 years, nobody in professional golf that's in the top 20 is a visor guy. ... we need one guy.
We wrapped up with Guys on Chicks, where the guys addressed the realities of the new remote work landscape. Big Cat and PFT were remarkably honest about how much "work" actually gets done when you aren't in an office, suggesting that most of us are just playing SNES and looking at fantasy rosters.
Big CatMost remote workers only do about five to six hours of actual hard work per week
The working from home is like you only do half the work. You just basically fuck around all day and then... you can get your job done in like five to six hours of really hard work. That's just a fact. That's how America was built. ... You spent four hours on browsers, you played a bunch of SNES and Yeah. You just dicked around and looked at your fantasy team for 50% of the work week.
Go buy a shirt, believe in the lottery ball, and let’s hope the Hogs are coming home.
