The day Dan Snyder sells the Commanders is the best day of my sports life

It is one of the best days of my life. I would say Washington Capital Stanley Cup is day number one of my sports life Nationals, nationals World Series, probably number two. And then I would put Dan Snyder selling the team. ... Fuck it. I'm, I'm gonna put this number one. Okay. I think this is better. Number one, I think this is a better day because it opens up the entire future of my football fandom.

The Washington Commanders should temporarily revert to 'Washington Football Team' before rebranding as the 'Hogs'

I hope that Josh Harris... they buy the team. And I hope they're like, you know what? This name sucks. The commander sucks. Nobody cares about it. Hogs. And then I hope they say, okay, we need a year to figure out what the end name of the team's gonna be. So we're gonna go back to the football team for a year. And then the year after that, they announced the new team name. Hogs would be great.

If a sports owner has two teams, they will always have a favorite child

No. Because like, this will get into a situation where if you own two teams, like which one does [the owner] care about more? ... it's kinda like a Jerry Reinsdorf situation with the White Sox and Bulls. Like we, you gotta have a favorite child.

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.