The National League winning the 2023 All-Star Game is the biggest sports victory of the summer

The NL is back baby. The NL is back. We've won the All-Star game, the most important game in the entire summer. It's the only time both teams put out their best effort, put out their best guys. The NL's back on top.

College football is a better viewing experience than the NFL because the players make more errors

I love NFL, but college football I miss the most because of the chaotic energy. Like that is the chaotic energy sport because you have guys messing up and making mistakes that just leads to craziness. MLB, they're so fucking good... It's a real big bummer. I wanna see more errors, I wanna see more, you know, chaotic energy.

The Home Run Derby should replace the kids in the outfield with fat, drunk adults who we can laugh at for getting hit

I'd rather, if it weren't kids out there, why not just get a bunch of fat like college 20 to 30 year old kids, guys drunk as hell. Fat, like sloppy fat, just falling on their face, getting hit with balls, all that stuff. Cuz then we can laugh as a country, we can laugh at them.

The Rays are playing an exciting brand of baseball

It's a very, very exciting brand of baseball. And I'm gonna miss it when it's over. So I did not wanna sweep, so thank you.

The Cowboys are a bad football team

The Cowboys are a bad football team. And I can't wait for people to start to say like, this is when, look at the schedule. Dallas is gonna put some wins together.

Performance-enhancing drug shortages may explain dominant teams falling off

There started to be severe, severe supply chain issues when it came to performance enhancing drugs and peptide shipments coming to the United States. I just think it's interesting.