PMT DB
PMT DB
Dallas Goedert on Tush Pushes, Unicycles, and the NL’s All-Star Victory
The National League finally ended its nine-game skid in the Midsummer Classic, and Big Cat is ready to declare it the highlight of the sporting calendar. While most of the sports world is sleeping in July, the guys found plenty to dissect from Seattle, even if the game itself was a bit of a pitcher's duel after some early home run robberies.
Big CatThe National League winning the 2023 All-Star Game is the biggest sports victory of the summer
The NL is back baby. The NL is back. We've won the All-Star game, the most important game in the entire summer. It's the only time both teams put out their best effort, put out their best guys. The NL's back on top.
PFT noted that while the NBA and NFL struggle with their exhibition formats, baseball still provides the only All-Star game worth actually watching for more than five minutes.
PFT CommenterMLB has the most competitive All-Star game of any major sport
Somehow Baseball does have the most competitive All-Star game when you look across every sport. Yes. They all sucked. They all sucked.
Home Run Derby Grievances
Big Cat and PFT were less than thrilled with the current Home Run Derby format. The move toward a clock-based system has turned a showcase of moonshots into a cardio workout. Big Cat specifically missed the old days where you could actually watch a ball land before the next pitch was thrown.
Big CatThe stamina-based Home Run Derby format is inferior to the old 'out-based' format
They've screwed it up. I know what it used to be with the 10 outs. It took forever cuz guys were just taking pitches. But yet again, we have a home run Derby where we just, it's essentially a stamina competition of who can hit the fastest home runs and it has nothing to do with the long ball. I want that back.
They also brainstormed some much-needed improvements for the event. While seeing kids shagging fly balls in the outfield is cute, it doesn't provide the entertainment value of seeing a grown man who's had four IPAs take a line drive to the ribs.
Big CatThe Home Run Derby should replace the kids in the outfield with fat, drunk adults who we can laugh at for getting hit
I'd rather, if it weren't kids out there, why not just get a bunch of fat like college 20 to 30 year old kids, guys drunk as hell. Fat, like sloppy fat, just falling on their face, getting hit with balls, all that stuff. Cuz then we can laugh as a country, we can laugh at them.
PFT took it a step further, suggesting that the Derby could be used as a literal get-out-of-jail-free card for players suspended for performance enhancers.
PFT CommenterPlayers caught using steroids should be able to win their freedom back by winning the Home Run Derby
I was thinking that they could incorporate a rule change where if a player gets busted for steroids, they could then elect compete in the home run Derby to win their freedom to win their way out. If they win the home run Derby, they get to come back for the rest of the year and they get to continue using steroids for the rest of the year.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne
Hank is on the hot seat with the rest of America because of the "Real Cheeseburger" from Burger King Thailand, which is just 20 slices of cheese on a bun. This led to a classic PFT culinary breakdown on why the simplest things in life are usually the best.
PFT CommenterA grilled cheese is better the less effort you put into it
I also think that a grilled cheese is one of those things that it's better the less effort that you put into it. Yeah. Like you can make a gourmet grilled cheese with some of the best cheese in the world. But for my money, if you just take like two slices of Wonder Bread and some craft singles that's perfect.
Meanwhile, the guys addressed the chaos at Northwestern. Between the hazing allegations and Pat Fitzgerald's firing, Darren Rovell went radio silent for over 24 hours, presumably mourning the loss of his access and memorabilia value. The guys also looked toward the future of the program, with PFT suggesting a name that would certainly keep things interesting in Evanston.
PFT CommenterUrban Meyer would be a great choice for the next Northwestern head coach
I think one thing we can all agree on though is a great choice for the next Northwestern head coach would be Urban Meyer. Ooh, yes. Let's get urban back in the conversation. Not afraid to get his hands dirty. The guy is a molder of young men and let's just get urban back into the Big 10.
Dallas Goedert Joins the Show
Eagles TE Dallas Goedert stopped by at Tight End U, and he is officially a friend of the program. From growing up in South Dakota—the "cool Dakota" according to him—to riding unicycles in parades, Goedert might be the most interesting man in the NFL. He even addressed the Super Bowl loss to the Chiefs, specifically pointing the finger at the Sod Father and the slippery turf in Arizona.
Dallas GoedertThe Eagles would beat the Chiefs 10 out of 10 times in the Super Bowl if the field conditions were better
All I can say is it was a great game till the end. You know, if, if the field was better, if we were playing on turf, you know, I'd take us 10 outta 10. But I have to say that.
He also gave some insight into the Eagles' unstoppable short-yardage play. While the rest of the league complains that the "tush push" is unfair or soft, Goedert thinks the Eagles aren't being aggressive enough with it.
Dallas GoedertThe Eagles could successfully run their 'tush push' quarterback sneak on every single down
I think we could go up and down the field [running the sneak every down]. Yeah. I think Jalen would break more than you would think and probably drop a safety and take it.
Looking ahead to the upcoming season, Goedert expects big things from Jalen Hurts. He isn't just a fan of his quarterback; he thinks the rest of the world is still catching up to how good Hurts really is.
Dallas GoedertJalen Hurts is a top two quarterback in the NFL
I think Jay has to be at the top. Yes. Personally speaking, Jalen's in the top two and depending on what fan base we want to antagonize. But personally speaking, Jaylen's in the top two.
Mount Rushmore of Triangles
Things got weird as the guys drafted the best triangles in existence. The list included everything from the Bermuda Triangle and the Illuminati eye to the PlayStation hurdle button and a slice of pizza. Hank tried to claim a pyramid is just a triangle (it's not), and Billy tried to argue that the Jim-Pam-Roy love triangle from The Office was a top-tier pick. We wrapped things up with Guys on Chicks, where PFT laid down the law regarding car etiquette.
PFT CommenterCar time is for listening to podcasts, not for talking
Not for talking. Car time is for listening. When is he supposed to make these business calls in the car? On the golf course? Yeah.
If you see a guy on a unicycle this summer, just assume he’s an elite athlete or a Goedert relative.
