Anyone who says 'I turned out fine' regarding their childhood trauma actually didn't turn out fine
Anyone who says I turned out fine, there you are. Not fine. About anything, anything. It could be like X Y, Z happened to me when I was a kid. I turned out fine. 'I smoked, my father made me smoke cigarettes when I was five years old. Look how I turned out.' I'm fine. Yeah, I'm great.
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View episodeThe National League winning the 2023 All-Star Game is the biggest sports victory of the summer
The NL is back baby. The NL is back. We've won the All-Star game, the most important game in the entire summer. It's the only time both teams put out their best effort, put out their best guys. The NL's back on top.
MLB has the most competitive All-Star game of any major sport
Somehow Baseball does have the most competitive All-Star game when you look across every sport. Yes. They all sucked. They all sucked.
College football is a better viewing experience than the NFL because the players make more errors
I love NFL, but college football I miss the most because of the chaotic energy. Like that is the chaotic energy sport because you have guys messing up and making mistakes that just leads to craziness. MLB, they're so fucking good... It's a real big bummer. I wanna see more errors, I wanna see more, you know, chaotic energy.
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View profileThe goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible
What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.
The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer
People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.
We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay
My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.