The Wisconsin Badgers season is officially over

The Badger season's over. They're a fucking dumpster fire. I'm done... don't ever think about getting sucked back into this Wisconsin season. They're chicken shit cowards and don't deserve your time or money.

The Bears are destined to sign Brock Osweiler

The Bears are destined to sign Brock Osweiler... because he is the perfect... he's more Mike Glennon than Mike Glennon is. And the fact that he's impressed you guys so many times by beating you in your face.

The 2018 Chicago Bears are not a Super Bowl team

I also, if the Bears had won that game and gone 4-1 and then played the Patriots next week and had been like, someone would have written the, could this be a Super Bowl preview, which is stupid because the Bears are not a Super Bowl team, whatever.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.