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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Nick Saban probably hasn't been to a dentist in 30 years and just deals with the pain

Nick Saban, he hasn't been to a dentist in 30 years. And he's had cavity pain for all 30 years. ...He just deals with it. He's like, my mouth hurts. ...Day in, day out. That's just what happens.

This is a satirical characterization of Saban's toughness and focus.

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Void
Jan 9, 2017
#26807
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Seattle Seahawks only win because they know the rule book better and 'cheat' more than everyone else

Did you notice the Seattle Cheahawks were back to their old cheating ways? ...They just cheat a lot. That's all they do. ...By knowing the rule book better than everybody else.

The Seahawks were known for their physical play and edge-pushing under Pete Carroll, though they weren't officially found guilty of 'cheating' beyond standard penalties.
Void
Jan 9, 2017
#15385
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Ben Roethlisberger gets smarter when he is concussed because it shuts off his dumb thoughts

I think Roethlisberger gets smarter when he gets concussed. ...More instinctual. Right, his head gets out of his own way. Right, he's just like a big, dumb animal. All of his terrible thoughts are no longer functioning in his head, so he's able to operate like a normal human being.

This is a satirical comment on Roethlisberger's intelligence and playstyle.
Loss
Jan 9, 2017
#26808
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

2017 is not the 'Year of Matt' after every quarterback named Matt lost in the Wild Card round

Wait, so every Matt lost this weekend, huh? ...Not the year of Matt. Tough weekend for Matt.

Matt Ryan actually won the MVP and went to the Super Bowl this year, so it was actually a very good year for one specific Matt.

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The Celtics are statistically a better team without Jaylen Brown

Jalen Brown has the second worst plus minus of any five time All Star over the past 10 years... Also the Celtics win more games without Jalen Brown than when he is playing... Last year with, with Jalen Brown, they won 66% of their games without, they won 80%... Their entire career with Jalen Brown. They are 263 and 1 31. That's 67% without Brown. There're 60 and 26, 70%.

The stats provided are fictional/hypothetical within the 2026 setting, but presented as fact to support a 'Ewing Theory' style take.
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The Celtics are no longer eligible to be the NBA's team of the 2020s without Jaylen Brown

If the Celtics rebuild and they get back to like the NBA finals, let's say in like 2029, let's say they win another chip in 2029, that's a different team. Like the core is completely different without Jalen Brown. I don't know that you could consider the Celtics to ever even be eligible for team of the 2020s. Because it's gonna be two different iterations of the team.

Inherently subjective criteria for what constitutes a 'team of the decade'.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

FIFA must change the rule so a red card does not result in a next-game suspension

I think it's just a, a terrible rule that if you get a red card from a game that you're also suspended for the next game. Yeah. You're already serving your punishment by, by sitting out the rest of that game and your team has to go down one player. Why do you have to sit out the next game?

This is a subjective opinion on sporting rules.