The Seattle Seahawks only win because they know the rule book better and 'cheat' more than everyone else

Did you notice the Seattle Cheahawks were back to their old cheating ways? ...They just cheat a lot. That's all they do. ...By knowing the rule book better than everybody else.

2017 is not the 'Year of Matt' after every quarterback named Matt lost in the Wild Card round

Wait, so every Matt lost this weekend, huh? ...Not the year of Matt. Tough weekend for Matt.

Nick Saban probably hasn't been to a dentist in 30 years and just deals with the pain

Nick Saban, he hasn't been to a dentist in 30 years. And he's had cavity pain for all 30 years. ...He just deals with it. He's like, my mouth hurts. ...Day in, day out. That's just what happens.

England will beat the Netherlands and then lose a heartbreaking match to Argentina

I think England's gonna win this weekend. And then you'll have the realization that it might not actually be coming home after all... losing to Argentina at that stage, that would be the most heartbreaking loss they could possibly have.

Christian Pulisic is clearly not and cannot be the face of US soccer

I'm just sick of relying on him [Pulisic] to be the face of US soccer because it can't be, it's so clear that he's not.

The 4-1 loss to Belgium was the worst USMNT performance in years

That was the worst performance from the US that I've seen in years. Just completely lackluster from the start. So much blame to go around. Tim Ream, friend of the program, good guy over the hill, turned into soccer Shawn Bradley before our very eyes got dunked on twice.