Paul Finebaum

The Divisional Round of the NFL playoffs is going to be a 'tits party'

Preemptive who's back next week, because if you saw the matchups, it is going to be a tits party next Saturday and Sunday.

Ben Roethlisberger gets smarter when he is concussed

I think Roethlisberger gets smarter when he gets concussed. Right, his head gets out of his own way. Right, he's just like a big, dumb animal. All of his terrible thoughts are no longer functioning in his head, so he's able to operate like a normal human being.

The Masters' theme music is the instant cure for insomnia

It's also just good for dads out there to have, instead of having to rely on Ambien or something to go to sleep, if a dad turns on the Masters music, he's going to fall asleep within five minutes. Best nap of the year. Instant cure for insomniacs.

Lane Kiffin is a 'child' and a 'loser' who air-mailed the national semifinal

Lane Kiffin is a child. And Nick Saban tried to nurture him and be a father figure. And in the end, he punched Saban in the mouth on the way out... I think it was the fact that Lane Kiffin, and this is hard to imagine, this statement I'm about to make, literally air-mailed in the national semifinal in college football. It's like he didn't bother... I just think he's a loser.

Lane Kiffin is toxic and will never get hired by another school that matters

I argued in favor of Kiffin for a long time. I really liked him. But in being down at the national championship and being with all the people that matter in college athletics, he's even more toxic today than he was a year ago because of this incident. I don't think anyone else will hire him. He would have to upset somebody of epic proportion to get on a radar screen of a school that really mattered.

Alabama will win the National Championship against Clemson

But I like Alabama. And the reason I like Alabama, and don't laugh, I've picked Alabama in every single game since the Iron Bowl in 2010... and that doesn't make me a homer. It just makes me smart.

Michigan fans are the most arrogant and elitist fan base in college football

It's Michigan. But Michigan, first of all, it's a good school. But it's not Harvard. They think they are not. Michigan fans, Michigan graduates are just the most arrogant, elitist... The fans talk like it's Stanford, Harvard, Princeton, and Caltech wrapped into one. It's not. It's a good school that's won a half a national championship in 60 years.

I would bet against Michigan making the College Football Playoff in the near future

I wouldn't lock that down. I mean, it's possible, but I'm not going to be one of these, well, anything's possible. Well, not really. I would probably bet against Michigan [making the final four].

Brian Kelly is one of the biggest jokes in college football

I think Brian Kelly is one of the biggest jokes in college football. I really do. I think Charlie Weis was better than Brian Kelly. He was more hilarious. I don't totally disagree. No, you're right about that. I mean, he was expensive from a food standpoint. But I think Notre Dame can afford a couple of extra buffets, but Brian Kelly, I mean, he really... anyone's cooler than Brian Kelly.

Alabama could beat the Cleveland Browns

I think they could, and every time I say that, these purists get crazy. And Danny Sheridan said the line would be 27, but I really think by the end of the season they could, yeah. I'm with Alabama over the Browns.

Miko Grimes is actually a schizophrenic alter ego of Brent Grimes

I don't think that Miko Grimes is a person. I don't think she exists. I think maybe he's schizophrenic. He's got an alternate personality, and he tweets from her perspective. He gets to say all the stuff that he wants to say about his employer.

If you are going on a boat party before a playoff game, you better win that game

This is a classic if you're going to go on a boat party. It's the old Tony Romo with Jessica Simpson and Cabo rule. If you're going to go hang out before a playoff game, you better win that fucking playoff game.

Alabama will win and cover the 6.5 point spread against Clemson

Six and a half is the spread. I'm going with Paul. Going Alabama.

Clemson will win the National Championship against Alabama

Clemson.