Tanking is officially dead in the NBA

The NBA draft lottery... Tanking is over. Turns out Nate Silver is full of shit. Pelicans had the ninth best odds, they get the number one pick. Grizzlies had the eighth best odds, they get the two pick. The Knicks had the first best odds, they get the three pick. And the Lakers had the 11th best odds, they get the four pick. Tanking is over.

Kevin Durant is 100% going to the New York Knicks

PFT, they are going to find out because Kevin Durant, according to sources, is 100% going to the New York Knicks. My source is someone who DMed Colin Cowherd.

The Memphis Grizzlies should move to Seattle and bring back the Sonics

No offense to Memphis. I'm sure we have millions of Memphis listeners, but that is like basketball hell. Like, where is that? There's grit. They need to move it to Seattle, and then I'd be excited for [Ja] Morant in Seattle. That would be great. Bring back our Sonics.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.