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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Non-alcoholic beer stinks and you shouldn't drink it

I'm sick of people lying about how good non-alcoholic beer is. It's just not, no, just don't drink, don't drink beer.

Purely a matter of taste and opinion.

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Jun 12, 2026
#30718
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

A $5,000 ticket to Game 4 of the Knicks-Spurs Finals was actually a bargain

The $5,000 get in price was actually a bargain if you went to that game and you're a Knicks fan because what you got was probably the best night of, of your life... sports will not get any better than that, than if you paid five grand to go to Madison Square Garden last night.

The Knicks had a historic comeback in Game 4 of the 2026 Finals. Value is subjective but the event was undeniably historic.
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Jun 12, 2026
#30719
Big CatBig Cat

No lead is too big against the Knicks

There's no lead that's too big... against The Knicks. It's not like a fluke. It's, this is what this Knicks team is. They are a team that, that, that will step up in big moments and not give in.

Subjective assessment of team identity, though backed by their performance in the 2026 playoffs.
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Jun 12, 2026
#30731
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The San Antonio Spurs are the stupidest good team in the NBA

The Spurs are the stupidest team. They're the stupidest good team that I've ever seen. And they're consistently stupid in big moments.

Subjective evaluation of a team's game management.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.