If you can't motivate your sperm to swim, you can't lead an NFL team

I'd like to see them do the combine in the nude... make them jerk off into a cup, test their swimmers out. If you're a quarterback, if you can't motivate your sperm to swim, you can't lead a team.

Mitch Trubisky screwed himself by measuring 6'2" because of Hue Jackson's arbitrary height cutoff

Hugh Jackson, his cutoff for quarterbacks, 6'2". So Mitch Trubisky kind of screwed himself. He should have slouched a little bit, hoping that he went at 6'1"... [Hue] just said, if the quarterback's not 6'2 or taller, I don't want him.

Patrick Mahomes' small hands are a reason not to pick him in the draft

I also saw that Mahomes had small hands, so be careful of that. Don't worry about the fact that he played in a Kliff Kingsbury offense, and it was an air raid... His hands, a little undersized. That's why you shouldn't pick them. I actually like him. I think he actually would be good for them.

The Rays are playing an exciting brand of baseball

It's a very, very exciting brand of baseball. And I'm gonna miss it when it's over. So I did not wanna sweep, so thank you.

The Cowboys are a bad football team

The Cowboys are a bad football team. And I can't wait for people to start to say like, this is when, look at the schedule. Dallas is gonna put some wins together.

Performance-enhancing drug shortages may explain dominant teams falling off

There started to be severe, severe supply chain issues when it came to performance enhancing drugs and peptide shipments coming to the United States. I just think it's interesting.