Winning back-to-back Stanley Cups is basically cheating

I didn't know you could win back-to-back Stanley Cups, so that's kind of cheating in my mind. I hate the Blackhawks. We never knew that those rules existed.

The U.S. government should use being a hockey fan as an interrogation technique for terrorists

The United States government should make one of their new enhanced interrogation techniques for terrorists. Just make the terrorists become a hockey fan. Watch three overtimes. And then have to watch playoff games until their team loses in the Stanley Cup Finals.

The Stanley Cup is the best trophy in all of sports

The Stanley Cup itself is the best trophy in all of sports. I think we can all agree on that.

England will beat the Netherlands and then lose a heartbreaking match to Argentina

I think England's gonna win this weekend. And then you'll have the realization that it might not actually be coming home after all... losing to Argentina at that stage, that would be the most heartbreaking loss they could possibly have.

Christian Pulisic is clearly not and cannot be the face of US soccer

I'm just sick of relying on him [Pulisic] to be the face of US soccer because it can't be, it's so clear that he's not.

The 4-1 loss to Belgium was the worst USMNT performance in years

That was the worst performance from the US that I've seen in years. Just completely lackluster from the start. So much blame to go around. Tim Ream, friend of the program, good guy over the hill, turned into soccer Shawn Bradley before our very eyes got dunked on twice.