"Secretariat's body should be exhumed and drug tested to protect the integrity of sports records" — PFT Commenter

Take Slip·May 10, 2024

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Secretariat's body should be exhumed and drug tested to protect the integrity of sports records

I'm going to go one further than Jason Kelce. I will say they should dig up Secretariat's body and test them. Drug test them. It's the only record in sports that has never been broken in terms of like speed or power for all these years. Every other sport has gotten better since the 1970s and we're saying horse racing is the one that hasn't? Dig that horse up.

Opinion Life Scorching SubjectiveSarcastic

This is a satirical suggestion and a fact-based skepticism of 50-year-old records that haven't been broken despite advances in science.

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Take Slip·May 10, 2024

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Hank

Jayson Tatum has had nothing but success in his NBA career despite a lack of a ring

I think [the critics] are wrong. I think Jayson Tatum just gets picked on. He's had nothing but success in his NBA career. He hasn't won a championship, but he's still had an extremely successful beginning of his career.

Opinion Basketball Medium Subjective

Tatum has made multiple All-NBA teams and deep playoff runs, though 'nothing but success' is hyperbolic.

Loss

Take Slip·May 10, 2024

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Hank

The Celtics will win Game 3 by exactly 33 points

Prediction for Saturday night: Win by 33. I guess a little, you know, you got an extra one. 101 [total series point differential].

Prediction Basketball Hot

The Celtics won by 13 points, not 33.

Push

Take Slip·May 10, 2024

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Max

The Celtics will sweep the rest of the playoffs through the Eastern Conference Finals

We're the Boston Celtics. We're gonna beat the fuck out of 'em the next game. Beat the fuck out of 'em again. Beat the fuck out of 'em again. And then the Pacers and Knicks are both gonna be dead by the time they come to us. That's a clean sweep, clean sweep.

Prediction Basketball Fire

While the Celtics did dominate, they didn't 'clean sweep' everyone. They beat the Cavs 4-1 and then swept the Pacers 4-0 in the ECF. Since they lost Game 4 to the Cavs, the 'clean sweep' through the rest of the conference was incorrect.