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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Team USA's narrow win over Serbia counts as a 'statement loss'

After the loss against Serbia earlier this week, I know it was a win, but I'm going to call it a loss. I think that counts as a loss. That was a statement lost by us.

Literally incorrect as Team USA won 94-91, but rhetorically correct as it was viewed as a disappointing performance.

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Loss
Aug 15, 2016
#15682
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Usain Bolt could play in the NFL as a Mike Wallace-type deep threat

I'm just saying we have to have the conversation of whether or not Usain Bolt could play in the NFL... I want to know if Usain Bolt, if you put him in pads, put him in a helmet – Can he take a hit? He wouldn't go across the middle. I already know that about him. He would be like a Mike Wallace type on the outside.

Bolt never played in the NFL, though he expressed interest. At his speed, the comparison is physically logical but technically untested.
Void
Aug 15, 2016
#15683
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

LeBron James could be the fastest sprinter in the world if he wanted to

You have to imagine that if LeBron James wanted to, he could be the fastest sprinter in the world.

While LeBron is an elite athlete, the mechanics of world-class sprinting are highly specialized. This is an unfalsifiable but highly debatable claim.
Win
Aug 15, 2016
#15684
Big CatBig Cat

Michael Phelps is the all-time best Olympic champion

But it was a great performance. Michael Phelps, all-time best Olympic champion. I think we can safely say that, right?

Phelps holds the record for most gold medals and total medals by any Olympian, making this the statistical reality.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.