Eli Manning needs to retire

Sir, Eli Manning, sir. Please retire. I've seen enough. The Giants offensive line is bad, and it's the worst combo possible because the Giants offensive line is bad, and Eli Manning is also a Hall of Fame self-sacker. And he can't – he just – like, it's just not there.

Eli Manning is a better quarterback than Peyton Manning

Eli had a great career. Two Super Bowls. Yeah, beat Tom Brady. How did that happen? The better Manning. The better of the two Mannings. Easily, in my estimation. Never lost Super Bowl.

Saquon Barkley is the closest modern equivalent to Barry Sanders

Saquon Barkley is absolutely incredible. Breathtakingly so. He is as close to Barry Sanders as we're going to get in terms of that squatty body, huge-ass legs, makes everyone miss.

JMU may not win again until the dog-poop bettor returns

JMU probably won't win another football game until that guy logs back on.

The Wizards are a one-through-eight seed team

I feel confident in my one through eight seed. Love that for the Wiz.

The Falcons can expose the 49ers defense

They might not actually be as good as we think they are on defense. I don't hate the Falcons at all in this game.