Big Ben Roethlisberger will spend the entire offseason watching pornography

Sad Big Ben. He's going to watch so much porn this offseason.

Beating the Steelers was effectively the Super Bowl for the Cleveland Browns

These Browns just won the Super Bowl because I don't think anybody expects the Browns to go out next week and beat the Chiefs... this was the Super Bowl for the Browns, and they did it.

The Steelers will trade for Sam Darnold and he will become the next Ben Roethlisberger

I still think they're going to get Sam Darnold, and he's going to be the new Big Ben. He's kind of fit for it. Big guy, throws some picks.

England will beat the Netherlands and then lose a heartbreaking match to Argentina

I think England's gonna win this weekend. And then you'll have the realization that it might not actually be coming home after all... losing to Argentina at that stage, that would be the most heartbreaking loss they could possibly have.

Christian Pulisic is clearly not and cannot be the face of US soccer

I'm just sick of relying on him [Pulisic] to be the face of US soccer because it can't be, it's so clear that he's not.

The 4-1 loss to Belgium was the worst USMNT performance in years

That was the worst performance from the US that I've seen in years. Just completely lackluster from the start. So much blame to go around. Tim Ream, friend of the program, good guy over the hill, turned into soccer Shawn Bradley before our very eyes got dunked on twice.