Nathan Peterman will have a long career as a backup because he looks like a quarterback

A guy like that [Nathan Peterman], for every interception you throw in your debut, you buy yourself another year as a backup quarterback in the NFL. He looks the part, right? He looks like a quarterback. He's going to stick around.

The AFC Wild Card race is officially a dumpster fire

The end of the playoffs, the wild cards for the AFC are such shit. It's because the Jaguars have thrown the entire world out of order. 7-3. The Jaguars being good has created chaos theory for the wild card spots in the AFC. It is a dumpster fire.

The Washington Redskins are officially finished and won't make the playoffs

So the Washington [Redskins], I think, are officially done. You can bury them right now. After a road loss like that, it's weird... they are such a bad home team.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.