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Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The blueprint to beating Tua Tagovailoa is hitting him in the groin in the first quarter

The blueprints out there for how to beat Tua [Tagovailoa] is hit him in his dick in the first quarter, and then he'll just be thinking about his balls for the rest of the game.

While physically true that a groin injury affects performance, it's not a replicable or ethical 'blueprint' for winning games.

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Loss
Jan 9, 2019
#4357
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Alabama is the worst 14-1 team of all time

Is Alabama the worst 14-1 team of all time? There probably is a team out there, and remember when I told you a little trivia, 1897 was the last time the team went 15-0... I think they got dethroned by Alabama.

While Alabamba was dominated, they were objectively one of the most talented teams in the country. This is a satirical valuation of the loss.
Win
Jan 9, 2019
#4358
Big CatBig Cat

Nick Saban got significantly outcoached by Dabo Swinney in the National Championship

Not only was it an ass-kicking, Nick Saban got outcoached. He got outcoached. He was outcoached by far.

The final score (44-16) and several failed gambles (fake field goal) support the idea that Clemson's staff had the better game plan.
Void
Jan 9, 2019
#29214
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Nick Saban looked like an anaconda squeezing the life out of himself because he got outcoached

Little Nick Saban looked like he was going to explode on the sidelines. He got outcoached. He was outcoached by far. He does the thing where when he's really mad, you can tell because he just turns red and he crosses his arms and he just squeezes his own body. And he was like an anaconda squeezing the life out of himself because he knows he's not going to get that nut after the game that he needs.

This is a subjective characterization of Saban's body language.

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Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Bills could have three or four Super Bowls without kickers

You can make the argument that the Buffalo Bills would have like three or four Super Bowls if kickers weren't a thing in football. You can make the argument that the Patriots might not have had the start of that dynasty if it wasn't for kickers.

The claim is a counterfactual and cannot be definitively verified.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Jalen Hurts will answer the Titans by beating them as a passer

I actually think Jalen Hurts is good enough as a quarterback that when somebody dares him to do that, he could say, 'Fuck you, I will beat you as a quarterback.' And then stay in the pocket and throw for like 300 yards and three touchdowns.

Hurts' passing production against Tennessee will determine this prediction.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Jaguars would be the second-best team in football if they win in Denver

If they win this game in Denver, I would put them maybe second in the power rankings behind the Jets.

The Jaguars' win and their resulting standing in PFT's power rankings are the relevant conditions; the ranking itself is subjective.