Jake Butt will suffer another torn ACL in the next 36 to 48 hours

We're about to, I'd say, like in the next 36 to 48 hours for Jake Butt, [torn] ACL. I hope not... the NFL is a much better place when there is a guy named Butt on the back of his jersey running around making plays.

Matthew Stafford is an elite sucky quarterback who cannot win a Super Bowl

There's the really good sucky quarterback. [Matthew] Stafford is a perfect... he is an elite sucky quarterback. But you're like, if you had to ask yourself, could Matt Stafford win a Super Bowl? Answers probably no. He's right on the edge of suck. That's why he's an elite sucky quarterback. Because it's like, if you put him in the right spot, everything could go perfectly.

Matthew Stafford is a Hall of Famer

Matt Stafford, by the way, still a Hall of Famer.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.