PMT DB
PMT DB
Adnan Virk on ESPN Exit, the Mt. Rushmore of Average Things, and the Tennis GOAT Debate
Training camps are finally opening, which means we can officially smell football. While the guys are getting juiced up for the season, the typical camp injuries are already dampening the mood. PFT is already looking at the clock for the inevitable yearly casualty.
PFT CommenterJake Butt will suffer another torn ACL in the next 36 to 48 hours
We're about to, I'd say, like in the next 36 to 48 hours for Jake Butt, [torn] ACL. I hope not... the NFL is a much better place when there is a guy named Butt on the back of his jersey running around making plays.
The arrival of camp also means it is officially QB tier season. Big Cat and PFT discussed the binary system of quarterbacks: you're either a guy who can win a Super Bowl, or you're elite at being sucky. This led to a very heated debate regarding Detroit's signal caller.
Big CatMatthew Stafford is an elite sucky quarterback who cannot win a Super Bowl
There's the really good sucky quarterback. [Matthew] Stafford is a perfect... he is an elite sucky quarterback. But you're like, if you had to ask yourself, could Matt Stafford win a Super Bowl? Answers probably no. He's right on the edge of suck. That's why he's an elite sucky quarterback. Because it's like, if you put him in the right spot, everything could go perfectly.
HankMatthew Stafford could win a Super Bowl if he wasn't on the Lions
I think [Stafford] could win a Super Bowl, too. Not on the Lions... but Matt Stafford in a vacuum could win a Super Bowl.
In Hot Seat/Cool Throne, Hank puts millennials on the hot seat after Pat Fitzgerald's rant about phones ruining attendance. PFT is eyeing the Arctic Circle as it currently burns like 300,000 football fields, while Big Cat is just ready to watch Roger Goodell unleash chaos on the Patriots once again.
Big CatRoger Goodell should suspend Tom Brady for cliff diving with his daughter
It would be the ultimate troll move by Roger Goodell to suspend Tom Brady for one game after Tyreek Hill gets zero and just be like, hey, there's videotape... wouldn't be right, but it would be fucking funny.
Mt. Rushmore of Average Things
In honor of the dog days of July, the guys tackled a Mt. Rushmore of the most perfectly average things in the world. They covered everything from ham sandwiches and long-sleeved shirts to the Toyota Camry. PFT took a stand on a specific NFC North quarterback as the gold standard of mediocrity.
PFT CommenterKirk Cousins is the most average quarterback of all time
Kirk Cousins, probably the most average quarterback that these two eyes have ever seen. He will beat every team that is less than 8-8, and he will lose to every team that is better than 8-8... you never expect him to do anything great, and guess what? He never does.
Big Cat shifted the focus to the college ranks, pointing out that one specific ACC program has perfected the art of being exactly five-ten throughout its entire existence.
Big CatNC State is the most average college football team in history
North Carolina State football... they are five-ten overall for their entire history. Five hundred and ten winning percentage. They have twenty-three of the last 40 years they've gone to a bowl game. All the bowl games are like the exact same... the Gator Bowl, the Sun Bowl, the Independence Bowl... Every year is basically 7, 8, 9 [wins].
Adnan Virk
Friend of the program Adnan Virk joined the show to discuss his new gig at DAZN, his high-profile exit from ESPN, and his legendary love for cinema. The conversation turned to the Chicago Cubs and whether Joe Maddon is actually the problem in the North Side clubhouse.
Adnan VirkYou cannot fire Joe Maddon unless there is a clear replacement like David Ross
Whenever you fire a guy, you have to be able to say, hey, we've got the next man up. Like, who is the one lurking in the wings? I think people think it's David Ross... if it's Rossi, then I'm all in.
Big CatDavid Ross would be a great manager because modern baseball is about clubhouse management over X's and O's
I think the way that the manager position in baseball has moved to now, it's less about the X's and O's... It's a lot more about keeping a clubhouse together... and I think David Ross would be great at that aspect.
Adnan also weighed in on the legendary finale of *The Sopranos*, offering a theory that puts the audience right in the line of fire.
Adnan VirkIn The Sopranos finale, David Chase whacked the audience
I believe that David Chase actually whacked us. He whacked the audience because we're watching him and we go to black. We can't see any more of the story. So I think that we get killed.
As a huge movie buff, Adnan gave his flowers to the ending of *Breaking Bad* while PFT and Big Cat tried to drag him into a debate about the *Serial* podcast. PFT, ever the legal scholar, provided his definitive ruling on the case.
PFT CommenterAdnan Syed probably killed Hae Min Lee
The point of that podcast [Serial] is to just inundate you with both sides of everything... The show would not be interesting if it was just very clear that he was railroaded... I think he probably did it. Yeah. All things being equal.
The interview wrapped with a heated tennis GOAT debate after Federer's heart-wrenching loss to Djokovic at Wimbledon. While Adnan remains a Federer loyalist, Big Cat is looking at the scoreboard.
Big CatNovak Djokovic is the Tennis GOAT
Djokovic is the GOAT. [Adnan: No, you're brutal.] How much does it suck to root for a guy [Federer] who keeps losing to Djokovic?
Guys on Chicks and Segments
Segments include a check-in on *The Bachelorette* for people who don't watch it (even though Hank definitely does). Big Cat reminds everyone that there are better ways to spend a Monday night than watching Hannah B. deal with Luke P.
Big CatWatching Monday Night Raw for a Stone Cold appearance is better than watching The Bachelorette
It's so lame that people watch that show [The Bachelorette]. Be a real man and watch three hours of Monday Night Raw just so that Stone Cold [Steve Austin] can come out for the last five seconds... I did that last night.
Jake Marsh delivered his Sports Biz Minute, exploring why baseball managers wear pajamas and suggesting a bold new look for guys like Coach O on the sidelines.
Jake MarshCollege football coaches should wear helmets and full pads on the sideline
Why the heck do baseball managers wear full uniforms?... Imagine if other sports did this. Give me Coach O [Ed Orgeron] in a helmet and full pads, parlayed with Greg Popovich.
We wrapped up with Guys on Chicks, covering everything from spray tan etiquette to boyfriends who are understandably intimidated by the raw sexual charisma of Hank Lockwood.
Don't forget to take your sick days because ESPN won't give you credit for them when they fire you on Super Bowl Sunday.
