Jake Butt will suffer another torn ACL in the next 36 to 48 hours

We're about to, I'd say, like in the next 36 to 48 hours for Jake Butt, [torn] ACL. I hope not... the NFL is a much better place when there is a guy named Butt on the back of his jersey running around making plays.

Matthew Stafford is an elite sucky quarterback who cannot win a Super Bowl

There's the really good sucky quarterback. [Matthew] Stafford is a perfect... he is an elite sucky quarterback. But you're like, if you had to ask yourself, could Matt Stafford win a Super Bowl? Answers probably no. He's right on the edge of suck. That's why he's an elite sucky quarterback. Because it's like, if you put him in the right spot, everything could go perfectly.

Matthew Stafford is a Hall of Famer

Matt Stafford, by the way, still a Hall of Famer.

Getting excited for the NFL schedule release is for pussies

I can't get it up for the schedule release because it's—if you explained what the schedule release was to Vince Lombardi, he'd call you a pussy and spit in your face.

The NFL should release one game schedule per day for the entire off-season

The NFL, they should do, they should draw it out even longer. It should be one game that Roger Goodell releases per day for the entire off-season. And then at the end of it, he's like, okay, let's play some ball.

The Preakness Stakes should move its date to three weeks before the Kentucky Derby

Why doesn't the Preakness just say, screw it to the Kentucky Derby and schedule their main race for like three weeks before the Kentucky Derby? You wanna play hardball? Yeah, you could play hardball. I feel like if you, if your horse wins the Preakness, if it was scheduled for before the Derby, you're not skipping the derby. No, you gotta run in the derby.