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Loss
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Browns hiring Ryan Grigson is a threat to the AFC North

My hot seat is the AFC North. And my reason why is because the Browns hired Ryan Grigson. So watch out... I'm very excited to see how Ryan Grigson can fuck up the Browns even more. It will be interesting. That's a great challenge for that guy.

Grigson's tenure in Cleveland was brief and unremarkable, and the Browns went 0-16 that following season (2017).

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Loss
May 31, 2017
#1513
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I'm picking the Cavs in seven over the Warriors

PFT, you're on the record as saying the Cavs in seven. Yes, Cavs in seven. Dangerous pick. I'm going out on their limb. Just because if I'm one of many people who are right, nobody gives a shit. But if I'm the only one who's right, then people pay attention.

The Warriors won the series in 5 games.
Win
May 31, 2017
#1514
Big CatBig Cat

The Warriors vs Cavs Finals will be a bloodbath and a forgettable postseason

I think the Warriors are going to. I think it's going to be a bloodbath. I think it's going to be the most forgettable postseason we've ever had.

The Warriors went 16-1 in the playoffs, one of the most dominant runs ever.
Win
May 31, 2017
#1515
Big CatBig Cat

Kevin Durant will be the NBA Finals MVP and play better than LeBron

I think Kevin Durant is taking this personally because he takes everything personally... I think Kevin Durant is going to be the MVP of the series. I think he's going to play even if not better than LeBron all series.

Kevin Durant won the Finals MVP and averaged 35.2 points per game.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.