Tom Crean

If one nuclear bomb is launched, the whole world will blow up in a chain reaction

North Korea is developing nukes, and my theory is once one of those... So I've always thought once one nuclear bomb goes in the air, then... All the other countries and worlds are going to let them off, and then the whole world's going to blow up.

The Browns hiring Ryan Grigson is a threat to the AFC North

My hot seat is the AFC North. And my reason why is because the Browns hired Ryan Grigson. So watch out... I'm very excited to see how Ryan Grigson can fuck up the Browns even more. It will be interesting. That's a great challenge for that guy.

I'm destined to see Ovechkin win a Stanley Cup with a different team

The Washington Capitals are... Our fans, we're entering cuck territory. And it's Ray Bourque all over again. So I'm destined over the next five years to see Ovechkin win a Stanley Cup with a different team. And for me to cry during it and be like, I'm so glad and applaud him and be like, I'm glad he finally got his chance.

The Capitals and Ovechkin should split up because their regular season success is too good

I do think I am of the mindset that the Capitals and the [Ovechkin] should just be like, you know, hey, maybe this thing isn't working out anymore. Maybe it's just, you know, we love each other. Maybe our sex is just too good. Our regular season sex is too good. So we got to split up.

Grit is the ability to keep your confidence when your results aren't being met

I think grit is the ability to keep your confidence when your potential is not being met or when the result is not being met in a particular time in life or in a particular moment... When things aren't going well, can you continue to play without being distracted, without letting doubts, without letting the doubters get in and knock you off your game?

I want to coach at a championship level again

Well, I want to coach. But I want to coach. I want to go to a championship capacity type program... having the job taken from us like that [at Indiana], I mean, I've never let it get in and take my nerve or create doubt that I can't do this at the highest level.

I will likely work in television this upcoming year

I would think this year... It's very likely going to be television. And I feel like I can go in there and learn a lot. I never looked at television or media or radio or anything other than it being a very hard task to be very good at.

Dwyane Wade and Victor Oladipo are the best and most versatile players I've coached

The best guys – were the most versatile guys because they made everybody else better. And I think the thing about a guy like Dwyane Wade, the thing about a kid like Victor [Oladipo], Jerel McNeal and Wes Matthews were like this for us at Marquette. Those guys didn't have to score and they didn't have to be making shots to have their presence felt in a big way.

LeBron James is in a unique ballpark of basketball intelligence

Dwyane said this about LeBron. Dwyane is very smart, incredibly smart player... Dwyane said, I'm smart. He said, I know I'm smart. I'm not even in the same ballpark as this guy. And he's pointing at LeBron in the sense of how smart he is on the court... LeBron's in a very, very unique place for his mindset.

Duke bullied the refs into calling the 2015 Championship game differently at halftime

That Final Four, that championship game, would you agree with my assessment that Coach K got to the refs at halftime and basically bullied them into calling a completely different second half? Therefore, Wisconsin technically was the national champion.

Duke's 2015 comeback was due to Grayson Allen putting pressure on the whistle

Mike [Krzyzewski] really went into a complete, we're going to drive the ball game. He put a lot of pressure on the whistle... they have an incredible record when they were getting into the bonus at the 12-minute mark of each half... you could see it because they kept driving Grayson Allen from the left wing to the middle. It was the Grayson Allen coming out part of him. If he doesn't get them in the bonus that quick, it's a different game.

Lonzo Ball is one of the most prolific passers and has incredible vision

I reserve judgment on any of that other than that he is one of the most prolific passers and has incredible vision. I don't think there's very many guys that have come across in a period of time like that.

Guys need big pubic bushes to make their dicks look bigger

Evolutionarily speaking, guys needed big bushes to make their dicks look bigger... Right. I don't know if you've seen a lot of penises recently, but they're not great looking solo. So you need a lot of distractions.

In every pair of twins, there is an alpha and a beta pre-cum twin

You know how when you see twins and you're like, okay, that's the pre-cum twin and that's the real cum twin. You can tell. There's one twin that's always a little bit stronger, better looking, more gregarious. The other one's the pre-cum twin.

I'm picking the Cavs in seven over the Warriors

PFT, you're on the record as saying the Cavs in seven. Yes, Cavs in seven. Dangerous pick. I'm going out on their limb. Just because if I'm one of many people who are right, nobody gives a shit. But if I'm the only one who's right, then people pay attention.

The Warriors vs Cavs Finals will be a bloodbath and a forgettable postseason

I think the Warriors are going to. I think it's going to be a bloodbath. I think it's going to be the most forgettable postseason we've ever had.

Kevin Durant will be the NBA Finals MVP and play better than LeBron

I think Kevin Durant is taking this personally because he takes everything personally... I think Kevin Durant is going to be the MVP of the series. I think he's going to play even if not better than LeBron all series.