The Patriots dynasty is officially ending in the 2019 season

This is the year that the Patriots dynasty is officially over. This is the end. This is the end. It's got to be the end. This is the end. I can smell it.

The Dolphins will start 0-4 and Ryan Fitzpatrick's 'magic' is finished

The Dolphins have to play their first four games against playoff teams. I'm going to do a pre-related RIP to Fitzmagic. I don't even know if Fitzmagic is going to get off the ground this year... there's no way that they win a game, they're gonna go 0-4.

The 2019 Bears having six primetime games is a bad omen

The Bears have six primetime games, and that scares the fuck out of me. That's a lot of time, a lot of time in front of the nation for people to make jokes. And it's like they'll always be in the back of my head, even though the Bears are good. Six primetime games... is way too many.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.