PMT DB
PMT DB
OAR on Touring Secrets, NFL Schedule Release, and GoT Theories
Football is back, or at least the closest thing we have to it in April. The NFL released the 2019 schedule, and Big Cat and PFT wasted no time diving into the win-loss predictions that will inevitably be proven wrong by Week 3. PFT is already crying foul for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who apparently won't see their own stadium for roughly a fiscal quarter.
PFT CommenterThe Buccaneers got screwed by the NFL schedule
The Bucs got fucked. The Tampa Bay fucking years. They are away from home for like two months in a row. They're taking like a semester off. They're going to away games by week, London, two more away games. That's a lot of probation officers that Jameis Winston has to notify.
While the Bucs are traveling across the pond and back, PFT is smelling blood in the water up in New England. He’s officially calling it for the thousandth time: the dynasty is dead.
PFT CommenterThe Patriots dynasty is officially ending in the 2019 season
This is the year that the Patriots dynasty is officially over. This is the end. This is the end. It's got to be the end. This is the end. I can smell it.
Big Cat, meanwhile, is looking at the Miami Dolphins and seeing a complete disaster on the horizon. Despite PFT’s insistence that you can’t "neg" Ryan Fitzpatrick, Big Cat is ready to bury the Fitzmagic era before the first training camp snap.
Big CatThe Dolphins will start 0-4 and Ryan Fitzpatrick's 'magic' is finished
The Dolphins have to play their first four games against playoff teams. I'm going to do a pre-related RIP to Fitzmagic. I don't even know if Fitzmagic is going to get off the ground this year... there's no way that they win a game, they're gonna go 0-4.
The NBA Playoff Kill Switch
Transitioning to the NBA, Big Cat is fed up with the early-round blowouts. He’s proposing a mercy rule that would make Adam Silver’s head spin. If a team gets dismantled by 35 points, the series should just end right there to save us all the heartache of a Game 4 in Detroit.
Big CatThe NBA should have a 'kill switch' rule for playoff games decided by 35+ points
In a playoff series, if a team wins by a certain amount... in basketball if they beat them by 35-plus, the series is automatically over right there. We just fast forward and we save everybody the time. If you get beat by 35 points, it's just the kill switch. And it would make blowouts exciting because teams would be having to try really hard in game one.
He also thinks the Philadelphia 76ers should be on the hot seat for their sideline antics. If the camera is focusing on players reacting to farts on the bench rather than the actual basketball being played, that team has forfeited their right to a championship run.
Big CatNBA Playoff teams should be eliminated if the main story of the game is players farting on the bench
If the takeaway from a game was someone farting on the bench and everyone covering up their nose like it was for the Sixers tonight, you also get eliminated because basically that means you're losing so bad that the camera's just going to show that.
OAR in Studio
Mark Roberge and Jerry DePizzo from OAR joined the show to discuss their 20-plus years in the industry. It was a fascinating look at the "grind" of being a touring band that has stayed together since middle school without murdering one another. They opened up about the realities of life on a tour bus, including the strict "no shitting" rule and the time a thief accidentally stole a bag of human waste in San Francisco.
Jerry, a massive Cleveland fan, didn't hold back on his expectations for the new-look Browns now that OBJ has arrived in town.
Jerry DePizzoThe Cleveland Browns will win 12 games in the 2019 season
Browns record, 2019. I was going to say 12 wins. 12 wins is going to be my number. I feel like you're getting a little cocky. I feel like we haven't gotten 12 wins in like 10 years combined.
They also weighed in on the legendary debate of who the greatest live performers are. For Jerry, there is one clear winner that stands above the rest in rock history.
Jerry DePizzoLed Zeppelin is the greatest stage band of all time
Band band, like get up there and kick ass on a stage, it's Led Zeppelin. It's not even close. They invented a different genre of music... It's because they're the greatest.
Game of Thrones and The Final Frontier
With the final season of Game of Thrones underway, the guys offered some theories that George R.R. Martin definitely didn't intend. PFT is convinced that Jon Snow and Arya are heading toward a very complicated "family" dynamic.
PFT CommenterJon Snow and Arya Stark will have sex and then one will kill the other
Jon Snow and Arya? They're brother or sister. So they'll probably fuck. Yeah, okay. Jon Snow and Arya. They're actually cousins. One of those two is going to kill the other one. He's going to have to kill the other one at the end. But after they fuck. They're definitely fucking.
Big Cat went even darker, suggesting that Arya’s past is about to catch up with her in the form of a familiar face.
Big CatThe Hound is actually the Many-Faced God and will kill Arya Stark
I think the Hound is actually the many-faced god. He's gonna kill Arya and then rip his face off and be like haha got you bitch. Arya left him for dead and he did actually die and then they took his face.
PFT also suggested a classic "Keyser Söze" moment for the youngest Stark, imagining a world where the wheelchair is just a prop for a guy who has been hitting the squat rack in secret.
PFT CommenterBran Stark can actually walk and is just faking it for the long play
What if Bran can actually walk and he's been faking it the whole time? He's been slow playing it. And he's actually secretly been doing like a shitload of squats in his room and everybody's gone. So he's actually jacked up from the waist down. And he comes and kicks everybody's ass.
If the show ends with Bran Stark jumping out of a pool like a CrossFit champion, we’ll know PFT truly has the sight.
