The Buccaneers got screwed by the NFL schedule

The Bucs got fucked. The Tampa Bay fucking years. They are away from home for like two months in a row. They're taking like a semester off. They're going to away games by week, London, two more away games. That's a lot of probation officers that Jameis Winston has to notify.

The Patriots dynasty is officially ending in the 2019 season

This is the year that the Patriots dynasty is officially over. This is the end. This is the end. It's got to be the end. This is the end. I can smell it.

The Dolphins will start 0-4 and Ryan Fitzpatrick's 'magic' is finished

The Dolphins have to play their first four games against playoff teams. I'm going to do a pre-related RIP to Fitzmagic. I don't even know if Fitzmagic is going to get off the ground this year... there's no way that they win a game, they're gonna go 0-4.

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.