The Buccaneers got screwed by the NFL schedule

The Bucs got fucked. The Tampa Bay fucking years. They are away from home for like two months in a row. They're taking like a semester off. They're going to away games by week, London, two more away games. That's a lot of probation officers that Jameis Winston has to notify.

The Dolphins will start 0-4 and Ryan Fitzpatrick's 'magic' is finished

The Dolphins have to play their first four games against playoff teams. I'm going to do a pre-related RIP to Fitzmagic. I don't even know if Fitzmagic is going to get off the ground this year... there's no way that they win a game, they're gonna go 0-4.

The 2019 Bears having six primetime games is a bad omen

The Bears have six primetime games, and that scares the fuck out of me. That's a lot of time, a lot of time in front of the nation for people to make jokes. And it's like they'll always be in the back of my head, even though the Bears are good. Six primetime games... is way too many.

The Chiefs' window never closed

I don't think we ever actually closed the Chiefs' window. I think Mahomes was just in bed because he was injured, far away from the window.

Mahomes will be back to himself by season's end

By the end of this season, Mahomes is gonna be back to being Mahomes.

The Oregon loss could turn Dan Lanning into a psychopath

I don't think that Dan Lanning has slept since that loss. I think Dan Lanning has turned into an absolute psycho because of this loss. He's sick. It actually might be a dangerous thing for the rest of the Big Ten that Oregon lost that game.