The Cavaliers became a much better team by getting younger and more athletic at the trade deadline

LeBron actually made his team better... He got younger, more athletic. They stopped doing the whole, like, let's just get these veterans on the league minimum to come and all my friends will come and hang out and we'll try to beat the Warriors. Not going to work. So they got younger, better.

LeBron James forced the Dwyane Wade trade because he is obsessed with 'eating ass'

LeBron James is obsessed with getting his butthole eaten, and that's why he got Dwayne Wade out. [LeBron] wanted to get Dwayne Wade the fuck out of Cleveland because he knows Dwayne Wade's an alpha because he gets his butthole eaten and LeBron doesn't.

The Boston Celtics have regressed defensively compared to their early-season dominance

I think the Celtics have actually regressed a little bit defensively. Some of that is that it was just a shock that they were clearing away the number one defensive team in the league because I didn't really expect that, especially with the overhaul of young players.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.