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Loss
Nov 6, 2023
#3381
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Commanders will finish 9-8 and make the playoffs

I'm now talking myself back in the playoffs. Ooh. Because someone's gotta get that seventh spot... I think nine [wins]. I'm going to be honest and say Loss at Ramps. Win. At Jets Win. Okay. There it is. Yep. Niners loss. Cowboys Win. Wait, that, that's still eight... run it back and count again... That's nine. That's fine. and we're in the playoffs as the 17th.

The Commanders finished 4-13 and did not make the playoffs.

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Win
Nov 6, 2023
#3366
Big CatBig Cat

The Miami Dolphins are officially frauds

The Miami Dolphins are officially F-R-A-U-D-S. Frauds. They're not real. The Dolphins versus teams with a winning record are 0 and 3, 100 for their opponent, 51 for them.

The Dolphins continued to struggle against winning teams throughout the 2023 season, including a first-round playoff exit.
Win
Nov 6, 2023
#3367
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chiefs defense is a top five unit in the NFL

I think the Chiefs are a really good defense. I think the Chiefs are a top five defense. They're good. Which is crazy to say. But I think that that's the scariest part about the Chiefs, is that their offense still doesn't look like peak Mahomes.

The Chiefs defense finished the regular season ranked 2nd in points allowed and 2nd in yards allowed, and carried them to a Super Bowl win.
Push
Nov 6, 2023
#3370
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Baltimore Ravens are the best team in the NFL

I would just like to admit right now the Baltimore Ravens, I think they are the best team in the NFL. I think the ra it to my ears. I have them, they're my Super Bowl pick. I I think the Ravens are the most complete team.

The Ravens finished with the best record in the NFL (13-4) and Lamar Jackson won MVP, though they lost in the AFC Championship to the Chiefs.

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Open
Nov 2, 2026
#31796
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
Nov 2, 2026
#31800
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
Nov 2, 2026
#31802
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.