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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Jaguars will beat the Seahawks and prove they are for real

I'm just going to call it right now. The Jaguars are going to beat the Seahawks at home. And then afterwards, you know what the big talk of the town is going to be? ... These Jags are for real.

The Jaguars beat the Seahawks 30-24 and eventually reached the AFC Championship game that season.

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Void
Dec 8, 2017
#11182
Big CatBig Cat

Matt Ryan fucking stinks

what we learned is everyone's fantasy teams went down the tubes during the playoffs and Matt Ryan fucking stinks.

While Matt Ryan was coming off an MVP season in 2016, his 2017 season was a significant step back (20 TDs, 12 INTs). However, calling him 'stinks' is objectively harsh for a mid-tier starter at the time.
Loss
Dec 8, 2017·Picks
#11183
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Packers will beat the Browns by double digits in Week 14

I think this is prime. Oh, wow. You want to put a lock on it? Yeah. It is now. ... I'm going to take the Packers. This is where they start their run, and they're going to piss everybody off, and then they're going to win a playoff game.

The Packers won the game 27-21 in overtime. PFT's prediction of a double-digit win was incorrect.
Loss
Dec 8, 2017·Picks
#11184
HankHank

The Browns will beat the Packers in Week 14

I'm going to lock back on you. I'm going to take the Browns. ... Oh, fuck. Your last name's Lockwood. That makes your locks. Double lock. ... I'm locked up. All you listeners out there, go with Hank.

The Browns lost to the Packers 27-21 in overtime.

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Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.